There comes a point when you wake up and think to yourself, "how did I get this far?" It doesn't matter how 'far' you actually are. You could be broke, on the street, the question still remains... with everything that could go wrong, with no discernable difference between a stitched up corpse and a living human, it makes you wonder... with every particle in the universe, randomly bumping around, why is it that the ones that make up me... well... make up the person who I refer to as "me" at all?
And then there's the question of time. After all, every moment we are conscious, every moment we can think and drink and fuck, is borrowed time, a gift. We never made a conscious decision to exist, and it is an easy thing to rectify. So why is it that we go on, living a life we never asked to be given?
The best I've ever come up with is merely "because." Some people live to please their respective gods. I would never take that away from them but I just don't get it. Others live to please their families. I can understand that-- my family is the only thing that keeps me pushing forward sometimes. But still... how many people live life because they sincerely want to?
Or an even more difficult question: what would that entail? What would it look like to live your life because you want to? Would it be egoism-- living life in order to make yourself happy, in order to ensure your own predispositions never become encumbered? Would it be selfishness? Sadly, I think that would exactly be the purest form of living. To look at the world as a playground, a sand box for you to mold into your own image, to play god if you will and simply just... exist to exist and to force your existence on the world.
Or an even more difficult question: what would that entail? What would it look like to live your life because you want to? Would it be egoism-- living life in order to make yourself happy, in order to ensure your own predispositions never become encumbered? Would it be selfishness? Sadly, I think that would exactly be the purest form of living. To look at the world as a playground, a sand box for you to mold into your own image, to play god if you will and simply just... exist to exist and to force your existence on the world.
Sounds unethical somehow, but why? Why is it that if I trick a person into giving me something I need, I'm a horrible person? Why is it that if I manipulate my environment to be exactly what I want it to be, I'm an opportunistic, a selfish person with no values?
Couldn't it be that I'm just human?
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